Immortal Beloved
by Phanty
Summary: Erik's thoughts as he returns many years later to visit the grave of his Christine to give her one final rose. ONE SHOT. ALW MOVIE BASED. please R&R!


I hope you all enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Phantom related.

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Immortal Beloved

The usually wondrous autumn sky is hidden by a thick overcast of gray ominous clouds. A cool breeze gently blows through the trees. All the leaves have fallen from the branches to their final resting place on the cold hard earth. I can hear their soft crunching sounds under my feet as I slowly make my way towards her grave.

I cannot suppress the emptiness I feel walking through this never-ending maze of death; passing ghostly statues with eternal expressions of sadness carved onto their faces. They are simply cheerless monuments erected to loved ones long ago passed away and forgotten.

In the distance of the cemetery I can see her grave. The closer I come to her mortal remains, the more my mind becomes flooded with a rush of memories . . . memories of her, of us. Even in death she still holds me captive.

She was the only person who understood, who knew how I felt, knew my pain, and knew my loneliness. I thought that in finding her, I would not have to live alone in my world of isolation anymore. I would finally have someone in my life who loved me, and someone who I could love back.

This was the one wish that I always longed for my entire life . . . but because of my hideousness, it was denied to me. I never was shown love until she came; the first and only light that ever shown in my dark and miserable existence. Her being a part of my life was the first time I knew joy. She let me live. She brought me life.

I always believed she had been the answer to my desperate prayers, and that she was here for _me_, and _me_ alone. I truly felt with all my heart she was the one who was going to save me from my solitude . . . until _he_ came.

I never hated anyone as much as I hated him. Anytime I saw him my blood began to boil, my hands would clench into fists, and my mind would be taken over by uncontrollable violent thoughts. I promised myself that I wasn't going to let my only chance at life be taken away from me. It was to be war between us, and I swore that I was going to win or die trying.

So the tragedy began, as it is after all the story of my life. Tragedy _is_ my life. As my final and last resort I took her down under with me into the abandoned lower level depths of the opera house, which was my lonely, hidden abode. I was determined that she was going to be _mine_. But that insolent boy followed and left me with no other option than to ensnare him, to use him and to make her choose between us if she wanted him to go free. The anger and loathing that I had for him as my adversary, plus my fear of living on alone without her, over took me and I could not see the un-avoidable destructive end that was to be the ultimate outcome of my actions. At that moment I only knew two things

. . . uncontainable hate and fear.

I believed that I had finally won, but I was to be proven terribly wrong. She agreed to stay with me…to save _him_. She walked up to me and as an answer kissed my lips with willingness and passion. At that moment I was filled with emotions that I had never known before. Not until our lips touched did I truly know love, and suddenly knew _how_ to love. Kissing her was like tasting heaven. I suddenly felt whole, like I was awoken from the dead. At that moment I clearly saw for the first time in my life the right path . . . the right choice.

There was never so much redemption in a kiss than the one we shared, and I knew as truth pierced my very soul, that true love was being able to let go. It all became very agonizingly clear to me. I could not make my beloved, _my angel_, live in this hell of torment and loneliness that I was damned to. She deserved better. She deserved life.

I let her go . . .

I staggered away from them both, and made my way towards my rooms. Mournfully I sat there in my utter desolation. I felt a presence . . . and slowly lifted my gaze and saw her standing in front of me. The smallest glimmer of hope that maybe she was going to stay danced across my spirit, but I knew . . . I knew it was a _dead_ hope. Her heart lay with his, and not with mine.

Slowly she walked to me, and I watched her gently pull off from her finger the engagement ring . . . _our_ engagement ring. With every slow passing, painful inch that the ring was pulled from her finger; I was pulled an inch closer to death. She had given me life . . . and now she was taking it away.

Gently she opened my hand and there inside placed our engagement ring. Secretly I cherished every touch that she gave me, because I knew that it was the last time I was to ever feel her touch again.

After she gave me her final goodbye, she left me with one last, long backward glance. That glance has haunted me the rest of my life. Her presence has always lingered around me. Her voice never leaves my mind. Even though she is gone from me, her memory is not. I have always loved her, even if from afar. Her memory will always be with

me . . . the memory of my immortal beloved.

Coming gradually out of my memories, I kneel down at her grave by the granite stone monument, gently placing upon it a single red rose with the engagement ring tied with a black ribbon to its stem . . . _our_ engagement ring. We are now further separated by death.

Softly I speak to her, "I have never forgotten you, _my beloved_, and I never will. There has never been a day that I did not think of you, and there has never been a day that I did not _love_ you. You are my life, and a part of my soul. You were the only light that ever shone in my dark and empty existence. And for that small bit of joy you gave me, I thank you. For it was the only time in my life that I was ever truly happy. "

Finally I rise, gently placing a tender kiss on that cold, unforgiving stone. Irrepressible tears quietly fall from my eyes, and I watch as they trickle down that stone and over her name. This is to be my final goodbye, Christine.

With uneasiness and hesitation I leave the cemetery knowing this is to be my last visit. My time of leaving this earth, _this prison_, is coming soon and hopefully I will finally find peace from my suffering in death, being rescued from my solitude. And maybe. . . just maybe I will be able to see in the bliss of Heaven, my immortal beloved once more.


End file.
